Believe me, I’m the last person on Earth to preach about relationships. I’m divorced, so obviously whatever I was doing wasn’t working.

But I have questions.

Why must we give up closet space?

At one point I kept my clothes in a closet in another room – and we had a walk-in closet!

Hair – it magically appears…everywhere!

Seriously. This stuff appears EVERYWHERE! Sink, toilet, underwear drawer, shirts, etc… I was always amazed to find an errant strand popping up when least expected.

Bathroom counters and things that go bump in the night.

You can organize the kitchen, your calendar, my sock drawer but what is with the bathroom counter? I swear Jimmy Hoffa is in there somewhere…

Beauty stuff and torture devices.

As a guy I’m constantly amazed at the tools and devices women use to make themselves up. Some of these things have hooks, clamps, blunt ends – quite frankly things I would expect to find in a medieval dungeon…


something like that…

The toilet seat…

Okay, I think we’ve covered this one enough…

Those THINGS in the bathroom trash.

You know what I mean… eww.

Talking during a movie, what gives?

Why wait until a movie to talk about feelings. We’re guys, we have them but we don’t talk about them, so why wait until we’re watching a movie to bring them up? And it’s ALWAYS the movie WE want to see. Just try to bring it up when its one of YOUR movies.

Shoes. How many is too many?

Its like walking into a shoe store in there.

Details – we just don’t want to go there…really.

A little known fact about women: they are VERY detailed oriented. Ever noticed that? Need directions – don’t know the street names or numbers but they remember that you turn right by that BIG tree on the left just past the blue Camaro that’s for sale. Details. Women know them and use them. Guys don’t bother with details. Here’s the worst part: women use details about guys. See that? Women talk in “details” about guys – just let that sink in for a bit.

The hard part for women to understand is that men don’t use descriptive details; it’s always vague description (our imaginations are best left alone with such things). Ever had a girlfriend ask you what you say about her to your buddies? Ever ask you if you “talk” about her to your buddies? Why? Because she’s talking about you to her girlfriends – in detail. Good or bad  there are details involved.

Guys… we just don’t use them.