I don’t have arachnophobia I just don’t like them. It’s true if you throw one on me, especially the hairy ones, I will scream like a 6-year-old school girl. Okay, scratch the school girl thing, its more like Marv in Home Alone when he gets a spider put on his face. Yep that would be me. By the way, my kids LOVE that part, we laughed like maniacs for 10 minutes playing that part over and over… they eventually made me play the rest of the movie though. =(
Where was I? Oh yes, spiders: they suck. I can’t stand them. It is said everything has its purpose but these shouldn’t – yes, I know there are those who love spiders as much as I dislike them and I suggest we catalog these people for monitoring purposes. Just saying…
So, here’s my Top Ten reasons why I hate Spiders:
10. They spin spider webs – seriously, this stuff is impossible to get off and if you walk through them it makes you feel like the spider is on you.
9. They have too many eyes! Nothing should have that many eyes, it’s just not natural. Okay, so maybe it IS natural but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t be natural…
8. They have 8 legs. Insects only have 6 which is 2 too many but these “things” have 2 more than that… see argument for number 9 for what is and isn’t natural.
7. You can’t see where they’re looking. It’d be one thing if you could at least figure out if they’re looking at you but you can’t… that’s not right.
6. They have eyes on their butts. I WISH I could just make this stuff up but its TRUE I tell you! Nothing should ever have eyes on its BUTT! Spiders do… nuff said.
5. They jump. Okay, combine this one with number 7 and you can work up a real case of the heebie jeebies that will last all week…
4. They’re furry! Well, maybe not all of them are furry but enough of the ones you come across are and those are the worst ones… you can see the hair!
3. They’re just plain scary! I don’t care who you are: you’re afraid of them big or small. Seriously, you can play it cool when it comes to talk or squashing one. However, you see EVERYONE start slapping when they think they have one on them… EVERYONE!
2. Some can kill you with a bite. That’s really, really not right. Something that small…
1. They use traps! Seriously, that’s some pretty sick thinking for something that’s only supposed to have basal ganglia and not even a brain…
Okay, that’s enough; now for some real humor – click the picture!
Cheers!
Hyperbole and a Half
thepilgrimsfancy 
It seems like everyone I know is scared to death of spiders. I just don’t get it. If you eat it, it can’t eat you.
Ah, taking the the degluitive approach as opposed to the “Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal” reaction – very daring indeed.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t work on other things I don’t like: dog poo, crickets, my ex-wife, and my boss. Seriously, I’m not willing to eat any of them… well, maybe the crickets.
=)
Pfffff you wouldn’t eat your boss? What kind of weirdo are you!?
Dude, I would never, NEVER put that in my mouth – you just don’t know where she’s been!
hahaha i feel the same!
http://laughteriscatching.com/2011/07/31/1609/
I love it! And agree completely!
All great men have a weakness. We happen to share the same one. Assuming we’re both men.. and great.
Yes, definitely men. As for great? Sure, why not?
Cheers!
If I may be so presumptuous as to add to your list .. here it is.
They carry their babies on their back, not only making them look like great, fat, teeming lumps of revoltingness, but also creating a veritable eruption of grotesquery when disturbed.
I just grossed myself out completely.
Ugh.
That is indeed a great addition and anyone who has ever stepped on one that’s carrying those babies KNOWS what you’re talking about! ewww!
Hey, do you think it affects their eyesight with those babies on their butts? Just curious…
=)
You DO know what spiders are looking at, though. They have eight eyes, so they are seeing EVERYTHING around them. And you. Feel better? I do what I can!
soup!!!!!!!!!!
Hi there to all, the contents present at this web page are genuinely remarkable for people experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.
I hate spiders, they scare the fuck out of me, i just get Axe body spray and spray it to death.. perhaps inhumane.. but my god they are so fucking scary.
Another reason to hate them: They are unexpected, stealthy, and scary as fuck.
Something to add, my cat killed a brown recluse a few weeks ago, hes fine. Extra food for the spider slayer.. lol
Spiders actually are beautiful creatures. Their eyes sometimes look like gems if you glance at them closely. It is insulting to them by calling them ‘things’ and saying they had no brains. Personally, i wouldn’t mind keeping a few. Spider’s web are an art, someone says. And you can’t blame them for having ‘too many eyes’ or ‘legs’. People have called me weirdo for liking the spiders and looking at their pictures for fun.
They ain’t people…
i agree, spider is my favorite mob in minecraft. 🕷♥
spiders suck
Came here through Google after a I saw a spider spinning its web down right next to where I am sitting. I hit it away but couldn’t seem to find it. Sheesh! That was frightening to see. The more terrifying thing is that it’s still alive somewhere…
hate em